Well, today's the day – first time I play my own records in public. I'm actually kinda hyped about this, but kinda nervous at the same time – must be because nopony in Ponyville has ever heard my music before. But if there's one thing that's really honking me off right now, it's Mrs Cake going on about “Aren't you getting your hopes up a bit too high” and “It's only your first day performing music in public” and all that trash! Who does she think she is, my Mom?! And what does she know about me and music anyway?! It's not like she's ever heard it before – and heck, if I was good in Canterlot, I'm still gonna rock in Ponyville!
Anyways, Pinkie's just finished setting up her gramophone, the records are all there, mine are on disc, so now all I've gotta do is sit and wait for customers to start coming in. So yeah, just you wait, Cakes – by the time this place closes, I'm gonna be the talk of the town!
Entry 100 and a bit
I am such an idiot! I really thought this gig was gonna make my name here in Ponyville, and now I find they don't even dig me! All day long, there's been all kinds of ponies walking through these doors, snapping up whatever grub they feel like, some of them stick around for a bite to eat, and whenever my songs come on, it's always the same story. They go up to me, Pinkie or the Cakes and are like “Never heard this before, who wrote it?” We tell them that it was me who put them together, and they go “Oh, right – not bad for a rookie.” Not bad?! Is that all they have to say about my music?! I was expecting them to be like “WOW!! This totally rocks!”, not sort of “Meh, just another tune.”
This positively sucks! I've been putting my back into this stuff, and now I find that nopony even gives a darn about it! Maybe Mrs Cake was right after all. Maybe I'm nowhere near as good with music as I thought I was.
Actually, you know what? Scratch that, because Pinkie's just come in and is going on about how great my music was, and that all those other ponies thought so too. They've so got a weird way of showing it, but hey – Pinkie knows them better than anypony else, so if says they like it, then who am I to argue? This is what I want to do with my life, so why should Mrs Cake or those idiot parents of mine get in my way?! Someday, I'm gonna become one of the best DJs in Equestria, and anypony who thinks I can't can go stuff themselves!
Big question is, how do I go about proving it?
Geez, it's been a while since I last wrote in this diary. You'd think I'd have gotten a bit more of a routine with this damn thing by now! Still, hardly surprising on account of how much I've been doing over the last week or so – and all for flipping nothing! See, I've spent the last few days trying to get a gig with one of the big Hearth's Warming parties in Ponyville, sort of get my name out there a bit more, and so far, everypony I've asked has been like “We ain't got no room” or “You've no experience” or “We don't need a DJ anyways”! I mean, what the hay is their problem?! I don't need experience to be talented in this sort of thing! And all that trash about not needing music! It's not a proper Hearth's Warming fest if you don't have proper Hearth's Warming music!
I swear, these Ponyville ponies just don't seem to have any taste at all. Apart from Pinkie, that is, but I don't see any point in asking her for help if she's so busy with the bakery and whatever other gigs she's got going. At this rate, I'm gonna be an old hag before I get my name on the charts. Some musical career this is turning out to be!
So anyway, I've just returned to Sugarcube Corner after my latest failed attempt at getting a gig, and there's some unicorn mare just turned up who looks kinda familiar. She's a sort of lavender colour with a blue and black mane and tail, and she's got a pencil and microphone for a Cutie Mark. I dunno if I saw her on a record label or in a movie or whatever, but I swear I must have seen her somewhere. Maybe I'd better ask Pinkie about it later.
Entry 101 and a bit
What the hay was that all about?! As soon as I told Pinkie about that mare, what she looked like and how I think I might have seen her before, she just let out a huge gasp and ran off! I mean, what, is she like scared of that pony or something or nothing?! And what the hay was she going on about with raps in town?
Maybe that's who the mare is – some kind of MC from like Manehattan or Fillydelphia or wherever. Again, I don't know, but if she is, I sure would like to get to know her a bit better, maybe get her autograph or something. I just wish I knew if I'd seen her before, and if so, where? Also, what's she doing in Ponyville? Is there some kind of gig that she's got going ATM, or is she just visiting? Heck, she'd better not be some truancy officer pony come to drag me off to that finishing school, or I'm outta here!
Entry 101 and a bit more
Okay, false alarm. Pinkie's just brought that mare upstairs to speak to me, and it turns out she's that singer/actress from Sydneigh that I really enjoyed listening to as a filly. Her name's Lavender Rhapsody, and she's taking part in that big Hearth's Warming concert on the 19th that I was hoping to take part in and got turned away from – which kinda sucks. I'm kinda surprised Rarity never said anything about her before, though, because Pinkie says she and Lavender met up at some fashion thing in her home town when they were young and have been pen-pals ever since.
Seriously, though, I can't believe this is actually happening! I'm like face to face with a real live singer, and she's foalhood friends with Rarity for crying out loud! Is she pals with Pinkie as well? Who knows, who cares? It's LAVENDER RHAPSODY, DAMN IT!!! I never thought I'd get to meet her like ever, no more than I thought I'd meet Sapphire Shores or Countess Coloratura or Flank Sinatra or Leo Neigher or Cheese Sandwich or Hayseed DC or any of those other music ponies! It's just too good to be true!
I tell you what really strikes me as weird, though – when Pinkie told Lavender all about how I've been working towards being a DJ (Spoiler alert: she was one of the singers and other musicians who inspired me as a foal), and she was like “Oh, that's real cool, man.” She actually had something nice to say about me, and I'm just a budding DJ!! I'd have expected her to go “Meh – it's only some jumped up musical rip-off, who cares?” as if she thinks I just snitch other ponies' music and play it like it's my own! But no – she's like well full of praise for someone like me, and rightly so, because I've been working my tail off to make all those tunes for Sugarcube Corner!
I just wish I could say the same for all those event organisers.
Well, this is just perfect – not! I've been trying for yet another gig, and the guy who's hosting the event won't even hear me out! No room for a budding DJ, he says! He might as well have said “You're too young and too stupid to be a DJ at all”! I mean, seriously, how is it that so many ponies don't even bother to listen to my music at all and just take me for an idiot because I'm a teenager?! It's them who are the idiots!
Well, all except for Pinkie, that is. I've already talked to her about it, and she's been going on about how unfair it all is, and how I deserve better than all that, blah, blah, blah – she even offered to talk with all the event organisers on my behalf and get them to give me a go. Like that's ever gonna happen! Still, it's real nice of her to offer, and I really do hope she can help me. At least there's one pony who believes in me.
I only wish the other one was here too. Tavi may be more of a classical pony than pop, but she always knew how to make me feel like I could take on the world. Pinkie's a real nice pony, but she doesn't have the same kind of “I'll never stop believing in you” vibe as Tavi did. If only she knew where I am now and what I'm going through.
Still, I guess that's one thing that's probably never gonna happen.
I am so flipping fed up with musicians! Pinkie's been spending the best part of today going over to all the venues I've been trying for, talking to all the organisers and trying to vouch for me, and they've all been telling her that they're fully booked! Even that snob I went to yesterday said he didn't want anything to do with ravers like me! And as if that wasn't enough, Lavender comes up to me and says all sorts of stuff about me rushing into this whole DJ thing way too quick for my own good, and that maybe I should take it slow!
Yeah, right! I may be a newbie, but there's no way I'm gonna give it all up just because some overstuffed professional is on the same page as all those morons who won't give me a chance! Honestly, I can't believe I was so starstruck when I first met her! I really thought she could see some potential in me, and now she's behaving like I don't have any future at all, let alone in music! Who does she think she is, my Mom?!
In fact, who am I kidding? These music ponies are all the same, especially the professional ones – all they care about is their fame and fortune, and not the ones who aim to follow in their hoofsteps. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same with like Flank Sinatra or Sapphire Shores, for example. I mean, why else would they pick some stuck-up pop singer over a struggling young DJ like me?
I give up.
Entry 103 and a bit
Can you believe it? Nearly midnight, and I can't sleep because I'm so upset about this whole DJ thing. Darn you, Lavender Rhapsody, I hope you're happy now! First you walk into Ponyville and take what should have been my gig, then you tell me I'm useless
Why did I ever come to Ponyville? Why?
Other ponies must think me a right humbug at the moment. Why? Because I am well out of sorts today – I've lost a heck of a lot of sleep, my chest feels really heavy, every movement I make seems to hurt a lot, and even the sound of my own tunes in the lobby is nowhere near as lively as it should have been. Maybe Lavender and my parents are right about this whole music thing. If I can't get a gig with anypony, then heck, I might as well stop making music altogether.
Speaking of Lavender, she was right close by when I came downstairs. I'm guessing she just wants to rub it in even further about how much of a failure I am and all that, but whatever – I can't be bothered to listen to her any longer. Might even sell off all my copies of her albums as soon as I get back.
I was gonna spend most of today just lounging around in the park, but then Bonbon comes up to me and asks if I wanna come back to her house and talk with her and Lyra. She probably knows that I've been having a hard time lately and wants to try and help me, which I don't really know if she can, but since those two have become such good friends with me, I might as well. So anyways, she takes me back to her candy store, and then I tell her and Lyra all about Lavender and how I've been failing to get a good gig, which I still don't understand (should point out, by the way, Lyra's been penned in for the same concert), and that all anypony's been telling me to do is give up.
Turns out Lyra went through a similar problem herself when she was young, so she kinda knows what it's like – but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because she's also been talking about how I've been taking it all a bit too harsh and such. Apart from all that stuff about a lot of ponies out there don't understand how much potential we teens can have, she told me she's already met Lavender, and the way she's been talking about her is as if she actually cares about trying to help them improve. Yeah, right! If she really did care, she wouldn't have gone on about how I'm jumping headlong into this DJ career!
That said, she did seem pretty impressed with the music I'd composed, and okay, so maybe Lyra can be a bit naïve, but thinking about it, she probably has a point. She certainly didn't come across as being the sort of pony who would try and ruin your dreams – that honour goes to the jerks who call themselves my parents. Maybe I am being a bit harsh on her. Maybe I ought to go tell her she's right and I didn't mean to explode in her face like that – and hope she doesn't try and discourage me any further.
Entry 104 and a bit
Okay, seems Lyra's point has just been proven. As soon as I got back, I found Lavender hanging around outside the bakery with this really worried look on her face, like there's something been bothering her all day. I reckon Pinkie must have been talking with her earlier today, because the first thing she did was to tell me she was sorry for not understanding how much this whole thing meant to me. Not that she wasn't still worried about how it would play out or anything, but she still didn't want to get the way of my building up my DJ image. If anything, she actually wants to help me get it off the ground.
Guess I really was being too harsh on her after all. I don't think I can really do anything about the Hearth's Warming gig, seeing as they're all booked up, but at least she and I can maybe fit in a few jamming sessions for now. But yeah, probably better to stick to making music for the time being, and I'll try again sometime next year.